Our church is hearing a series of sermons about sexuality, and afterwards in smaller groups we discuss the changing role of sexuality in society and in the church. In the past, an intimate relationship was often equated with having sex. I disagree. The following poem can illustrate the difference:
Friendship is a promise spoken only by the heart.
It isn’t given by any pledge.
It isn’t written on any paper.
But friendship is a promise
that is renewed every time
we meet and smile and enjoy
the good times that come from simply
It’s a promise to share
both glad and sad times…
a promise to think of each other fondly
whether near or far apart.
Friendship is a promise
spoken only by the heart.
A promise that I feel
you and I will always keep.
Several months ago My Joy and I ate in the Soda Shop in Goshen. The waiter said something to us that we didn’t understand and rushed off. We waited for the bill, and finally asked the waiter for it. She said, “Oh, some one thought you were cute, and paid your bill.” We were embarrassed and grateful.
This noon in Elkhart’s Olive Garden, the waiter observed us carefully dividing the bill. We explained that “we weren’t married,” and that as friends we divide the bill and tip. She went away laughing and said “you’re cute!”
We were amused, especially when we realized that no one had described My Joy as cute away from me, and no one had said I was cute away from her. It seems we are deemed cute only when we are together! We decided that when alone I must be a half-cute and when she is alone she must be a half-cute, that we are cute only when the two of us are together, intimately.
Intimacy may lead to sex, but not necessarily so. An intimate relationship is one that is trusting, caring, and sharing. A faithful relationship is filled with joy, laughter and humor.